ABUSE

MYTH: White men and white collar workers don't abuse their families.

FACT: Some of the biggest perpetrators of abuse are white males, with white collar jobs, living in affluent communities. They are esteemed members of the community - show dads teaching Sunday school, leaders of Boy Scout troops, and members of the PTA. They are narcissists and master manipulators.

Victims may feel embarrassed to come forth in fear of being frowned upon by their community and losing their standard of living, yet this is the classic gilded cage. One of the biggest problems married women have is that their significant other controls all the money, micromanages marital funds and discourages them from working, thus keeping a tight reign and limiting their partner's chances at autonomy.

MYTH: It's only abuse if it's physical, if you can see it, if it's reported, and if CPS or a court says so.

FACT: Abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal, psychological, mental, emotional, the latter of which happens the most frequently.  Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Victims are often withdrawn, cry in private, keep it to themselves out of fear of repercussion by the abuser, experience depression, sadness, loss of hope, interest, and faith. Victims are not always able to identify what is happening to them.

Judges, Child Protective Services (CPS), and custody evaluators are under scrutiny for corruption, political motives, incompetency, and just plain laziness. Tack on gaslighting of the abuse, selective enforcement, Title IV-A and IV-D incentives, and we have a court culture of enabling and empowering violence. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?

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MYTH: Domestic violence, rape and incest only happen to females, and only by adults.

FACT: Men experience domestic violence too, yet it often goes unreported because men feel embarrassed to come forth. Rape and incest of boys can happen in churches, on camping trips, field trips, at home, by family members, judges, politicians, teachers, school officials, and older kids.